You've been so neglected. I'm back. Decided to open this back up and talk. Tumblr is becoming too... known.

It's been awhile since you're gone. Haven't spoken to you in like 4 days now. And I'm doing surprisingly well. And honestly, this scares me. Well, in a way I feel better that I'm not that reliant on you anymore. But I get scared knowing that I'm not as reliant on you anymore.

And I've been thinking about that job. I mean, if I get the offer. And if I even get called for the interview first. If I really actually got through it and got the job, it'd mean two years. And I wouldn't be around much. Only maybe a 100 odd days a year. Will that be okay with you? What if it isn't? I mean, it's not like I'm dying to for the job. But it'd definitely do me some great good and lift some of the burden. The money's really good. And we aren't exactly doing very well now. And I've heard that the money shouldn't be the motivation for the job. But seriously, who are we kidding?

And I heard some scary stories too. Like the door knockings and all. And I'm afraid we'd drift apart. And I'd be away more than you'd be away. But I'd still be here for your POP if I really do get it. Can you tell? I'm really serious, thinking about this. And would you be there as much as I've been there for you? I think you will. But it still wouldn't be the same.

But on the bright side, if we get through it all, we'd be able to go to school together again. Heh. Right. But you're really thinking of signing on.

I hate this planning for the future thing. Why can't I remain a kid? And stay young and ignorant when all I had to think about is studying? Not the future, not where the money's gonna come from. Not anything.

I really think I need to talk this out with you. But I kinda feel silly cause I haven't even gotten any calls to go for the interview yet. But then again, I feel like if we talk about later, what if it's too late? And you're not always available. Maybe I wouldn't even get the chance to talk to you about this this weekend. I don't even know when you're booking out. I don't know if you're coming back to civilisation this week at all.

All I know is, you've got a letter for me and your sister's coming to drop it off tomorrow. I'm hoping it's something good.